How To Overcome Shyness -For Extroverts
Ever wondered how to overcome shyness? There has probably been a time that you had an opportunity to do something but you sort off messed it up because you are shy, yet you are an extrovert and you just keep wondering how an extrovert can overcome shyness. Good news! Here is your long-awaited solution.
Who Is An Introvert?
An introvert is a person who prefers calm environments, limits social engagement, or embraces a greater than average preference for solitude.
It is a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings. It refers to someone who is shy, quiet, and prefers to spend time alone rather than being with other people.
Who Is An Extrovert?
An extrovert is an outgoing, gregarious person who thrives in dynamic environments and seeks to maximize social engagement. It is a person whose personality is characterized by extroversion: a typically gregarious and unreserved person who enjoys and seeks out social interaction.
Many people assume that all shy people are introverts and all extroverts are social butterflies. While that might be the case for some people, it is not general. Why so? Because being shy and introverted are two different traits.
Extroverts are energized by social environments whereas, Introverts are energized by alone time. Hence, Shy extroverts are those who crave social ties but might lack the skills to socialize more effectively or even become avoidant in social situations despite the fact that they need quality social time.
Signs you’re a shy extrovert:
1. You dread social gatherings, but you also really love them
As a shy extrovert, there is a part of you that deeply craves and desires to be around groups of people. There’s no denying that. But that desire also comes along with a twinge of dread, insecurity, and some serious butterflies in your tummy. It might take shy extroverts a lot of self-convincing to get themselves out of the house and into a social setting. But once they’re there, they absolutely love it.
2. You don’t like being the center of attention
Although shy extroverts love being around people they never want all eyes on them. Shy extroverts enjoy people talking and are totally cool with silence. They don’t feel the need to be constantly talking to fill up space which allows other people to take up the conversation.
Public speaking is literally a shy extrovert’s nightmare – they would really do anything to avoid speaking to a group of people. Not to mention, they’re great listeners. Research says that people in conversations rate their impressions of others more favorably when they themselves do most of the talking.
3. You hate public speaking
While many extroverts love talking in front of crowds e.g Me 🙂, shy extroverts can’t stand it. Public speaking is literally a shy extrovert’s nightmare – they would really do anything to avoid speaking to a group of people. They hate being the center of attention.
The lack of immediate response that we sometimes receive from public speaking also makes them nervous. If they aren’t confident, they always assume the worst. They would much rather converse one-on-one, or share their thoughts in writing.
4. You need to recharge but not too much
Because the dread that comes along with impending social settings can take a lot out Bushman says, you’re ready to hit up another gathering in no time.
Like introverts, shy extroverts may become overwhelmed in large social gatherings and need some time to recharge. But because you’re an extrovert and the actual socializing fuels your energy, you don’t need too much of it. Once your battery is juiced up again, you’re ready to hit up another gathering in no time.
How to overcome shyness with being a shy extrovert
1. Acceptance – Accept your shyness
One of the first steps to overcoming your shyness is to accept your shyness and be comfortable with it. The more you will resist it unconsciously or consciously, the longer it will prevail. If you are shy then accept it and embrace it totally. One way it could be done is by saying to yourself repeatedly “Yes I am shy and I accept it”.
2. Think of the principal cause of your shyness
Being Shy means that for some reason you get embarrassed when the spotlight hits you. What’s the root of your shyness? It’s generally the symptom of a larger problem. Here are some possibilities:
- You have a weak self-image: This occurs when we evaluate ourselves and that voice in our heads tells us something negative. It’s tough to stop listening to it, but at the end of the day it’s your voice and you’re the boss so you can tell it what to say.
- You have trust issues – you don’t believe compliments given to you: So you probably thought your presentation was an epic fail, but someone told you he/she enjoyed it. Don’t tell yourself that the person is wrong. Probably the person meant it so accept it.
- You are thinking about it too much – it’s not that deep: This happens when we focus too much on ourselves. Because we spend all day monitoring our actions and making sure we don’t mess up, we assume everyone else is too. We’ll talk about turning the focus on others if this sounds like you.
3. Practice your social skills
If shyness is a characteristic that you feel is holding you back, you can change it. Being shy can be dispositional but that doesn’t mean that we can’t train ourselves out of it with practice.
Practice not only teaches us which skills are the right fit for us personally but also helps train the nervous system so that we can get through anxiety-provoking situations.
So even if you really don’t feel like going to that event or gathering, remembering how good it’s going to make you feel afterward will make you show up anyway again and again.
4. Set boundaries for yourself
Because as a shy extrovert you will likely need time to decompress after being social. Make sure you set some clear limits with yourself about how long you’ll stay out. Maybe swinging by a party for an hour or two feels better than staying out all night. Listen to your needs and be selective about the events you attend.
There you have it, four powerful tactics to help you overcome the shyness that you’ve been trying to overcome. As you strive to become more confident remember this, it is not necessary for a person to be confident to achieve meaningful success in their lives. Shy people are amazxing in thier own way!
If you have more ways to overcome shyness, feel free to share in the comment section.
Thanks for reading!