10 great ways to boost your self-confidence
What is self-confidence?
Self-confidence is an attitude about your skills and abilities. Self-confidence means you accept and trust yourself and have a sense of control in your life. A person who has self-confidence knows his/her weaknesses well and has a positive view of themselves. You set realistic expectations and goals, communicate assertively, and can handle criticism.
Having high or low self-confidence is rarely related to your actual abilities, and is mostly based on your perceptions. Perceptions are the way your think about yourself and these thoughts can be flawed. Low self-confidence might make you feel full of self-doubt, be passive or submissive, or have difficulty trusting others. You may feel inferior, unloved, or sensitive to criticism. Feeling confident in yourself might depend on the situation. For instance, you can feel very confident in some areas, such as academics, but lack confidence in others, like relationships.
Low self-confidence might stem from different experiences, such as growing up in an unsupportive and critical environment, being separated from your friends or family for the first time, judging yourself too harshly, or being afraid of failure.
Is there something that lowers your self-confidence?
[totalpoll id=”1476″]
My experience
So I think that everyone has an insecurity that reduces their confidence level. I’m very confident when I’m speaking in public and I love debating and presenting. But still, I’m very insecure when it comes to my weight.
Okay so personally I thought I looked okay, but everyone around me started commenting on my weight and it started getting to me. Everything was normal at school but the challenge was mainly when I was at home.
So I’m from Akwa Ibom. In my language, the first daughter is called “Adiaha”. Most times when I go out with my mom, I get comments like “Adiaha don’t be fatter than mummy o!” or “Adiaha why are you so fat”. And most times my reply is always “I’m not fat, I’m healthy”. Lol
There was this time I went to the hospital to get medicine. To get this medicine, you have to meet with the doctor first. So there’s a process at the hospital. You have to renew your card, then write down your name on this paper at the nurse’s table before you are called to go and meet the doctor.
I’m a baby girl so I had to go to the children’s section. I think the children’s section is for 0yrs-20yrs. So after renewing my card, I walked up to the nurse’s table to write down my name and the nurse said “Madam, you’re supposed to write your child’s name, not your name” and I laughed and said, “I’m the child”. I wrote down my name and walked to my seat.
So after writing your name down, you’ll sit for a while then the nurse will call you back for a check-up. They’ll check your height, weight, and temperature. So after a while, my name was called. I hung my bag, stood up, and walked to the nurse’s table. So when I got to the table, this conversation ensued.
Nurse: “Any problem Ma?”
Me: “My name was called”
Nurse: “Madam, where is the child?”
Me: “I am the child”
Nurse: “Madam, I mean where is your child that you brought to see the doctor”
Me: “I know what you mean, but I’m the child and I’m here with my mom”
Nurse: “How can you be the child! You look like a 25yr old”
Another Nurse: “25yr old? She looks like a 28yr old”
I got tired of their nonsense so I just walked to where my mom was sitting and told her they don’t believe that I’m a child. She went with me to the Nurses table and explained everything before they finally believed.
Reading that whole conversation might be funny but when it happened, I was actually really embarrassed. And the way everyone else in the reception started looking at me made me feel more embarrassed.
Well, that’s in the past now. These days when anyone complains about how big I am or my weight, I just laugh because I can’t kill myself. I decided that people’s opinions about me won’t make me feel less confident.
Ways to boost your self-confidence
1. Work on the inside first: Everything starts here. The main source of self-confidence is by being honest with yourself about what path you want to take: staying the way you currently are right now or doing something and choosing to be confident. Work on your inner self, and your intentions, and be honest with the results you want and who you want to be.
2. Set goals: There is nothing more attractive than someone who knows what she wants and does something to get it! Setting goals will make you productive in so many ways. You always have a choice: stay stuck on where you are or go out there and chase your dreams.
3. Accept your flaws: Confidence is accepting your shortcomings and turning them into your advantage. No one is perfect but when you accept yourself for who and what you are, you’ll have no room for insecurities.
4. Face your fears: Challenge yourself to elaborate on your fears and face them one by one. Do your best to overcome each one and never give up. Overcoming something you once thought was hard and scary is the best feeling that makes you strong and your confidence level gets higher.
5. Go out with positive people: Surround yourself with people who give you the knowledge, people who empower you, people you can learn wisdom from, people who boost your self-worth, and people who inspire you to be better each day. Stay away from the toxic and negative energy that doesn’t contribute to your growth.
6. Take extra care of yourself: Self-love is the second best type (the first is the love of God 🙂 ) Take care of your physical needs by using the right products that help your skin glow. Use a skincare routine that works for you. Eat food that supports your immune system and doesn’t forget to exercise. Most importantly, don’t stress yourself too much and ensure you have a good night’s sleep.
7. Celebrate your progress: Acknowledge the challenges that you have overcome, problems you have solved, bad habits and old toxic traits you changed, and positive things you have developed in yourself. Celebrate each growth and work for more.
8. Learn new skills: Always aspire to become the best version of yourself. You can try to enroll in a baking class, dance lessons, learn a new language, and develop your singing or dancing talent. Do anything that makes you happy and never feel guilty about it. You will never lose anything when you go extra for yourself.
9. Reward yourself: You should be your number one friend and that means treating yourself once in a while. Go buy your favorite food, buy yourself new clothes, get one pair of shoes, go to a spa, visit a salon, do your nails, or even spoil yourself with a long sleep. Little things like this matter a lot not just to your mental health but also to your self-worth.
10. Don’t compare: Each person has a unique story and we all go through different challenges in life. Avoid comparing yourself to other people and think that we are all uniquely created. There is no one like you and that is your advantage. Jealousy and insecurities won’t drag you down because you are aware of your flaws and you positively accepted them.
