A Quick Guide To Saying No And Making Your Life Better.
There are times in our lives when we feel like saying “No” is not an option. When you want to say yes, but need to say no. Saying yes too much can overwhelm us. We get caught up and over-extended and end up stretched very thin. As a result, we feel stressed out and unhappy and our productivity suffers from it. Here are some tips about saying no that will help you to enjoy your life more and be able to focus
Saying No To The Wrong Things
We all have limited time, so we must be careful not to waste it on things that aren’t worth our time. What things do you spend your time on that could be eliminated with minimal impact on your life and business?
Some examples of things we should say No to are:
- Distractions: When it’s time to be productive, shut down all distractions
You can’t do big things if you are distracted by small thingsanonymous
- Blockers of personal progress: Bad friend? Block. Netflix? Block. Video Games? Block. Unblock when comes time to unwind.
- Completing useless things: Plan things. Organize priorities. Do the ones that matter.
“Nothing is less productive than to make more efficient what should not be done at all”Peter Drucker
- Listening to complaints about others: Gossiping is poisonous. Avoid people who spread it.
Who gossips to you will gossip of youTurkish Proverb
- Talking bad about others: Always be honest. Don’t be a hater.
“Don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.”anonymous
How To Say No Gracefully
Saying no gracefully is one of the most difficult life skills to actually master, whether personally or professionally and you definitely require self-confidence for it. As you become more established and successful in your career, the more important a skill becomes. Double or even triple the number of people reach out with requests for introductions, meetings, help with articles, help with resumes, small favors, big favors, and everything in between.
Instead of just accepting everything and spending precious time on things that might not be worth your while, You can say NO gracefully by…
1. Letting go of the guilt: Saying no is hard because we don’t like hearing it ourselves. And a lot of us reached where we are by other people giving us a leg up, taking time out of their busy schedules, paying it forward. Right? Yes — to an extent. But there’s a difference between a request for an introduction from a friend you are close with and a speaking engagement request from someone you barely know. Just because someone asks you for something doesn’t mean you’re obligated to provide it. Let go of the guilt of saying no. It’s a necessary part of growing into a well-balanced individual. Plus, many times, people will actually respect you for it.
2. Actually saying “No”: It can be tempting to say, “This week doesn’t work, but how about next week?” when what you really want to say is No. Free yourself from the perpetual, “I’m swamped this week; how about next?” dance. Give a firm and clear “no” the first time that doesn’t leave room for interpretation. This helps both you and the other person know exactly what to expect.
3. Having a response ready: Always have a ready response, especially if you notice that you keep getting the same types of requests over, have a thoughtful yet clear response ready to go.
Why Saying No Is Important
- Saying NO is a sign of respect: If you say yes to someone when you really don’t want to, that could lead to resentment, which could negatively impact the relationship. Saying no when that’s what you mean indicates respect for yourself and the other person. Because you’re being honest and authentic and these are qualities that cultivate healthy relationships.
- Saying NO to one thing means saying yes to another: Every time you say no to something, you are simultaneously saying yes to something else! Respectfully declining to attend something that would have taken time means you just said yes to using your time for something you’d prefer to do.
- Saying NO is a good practice: The more you practice saying no and setting boundaries, the more comfortable it will become. When thinking about how to say no, a great technique is to practice with low-stakes situations, like declining something a salesperson is selling. As your comfort and confidence grow, you will be more likely to say no in higher-stakes situations.
- You can not take care of other people if you are not taking care of yourself: If you are someone who is very practiced at caring for others, it might feel extra hard to imagine how to say no. You are used to thinking about other people and making sure everyone is okay. This is a wonderful gift you offer to the people in your life. However, to be able to continue to offer that loving care to other people, you must make sure that your needs are met. Learning how to say no is an essential ingredient of self-care. Setting healthy boundaries will help you have the physical and emotional reserve to continue to care for others, without losing yourself in the process.
- Saying NO prioritizes your feelings and needs: You are the most important person in your life, after all, and deserve to put your own feelings and needs at the center of your life. You are worth it. While prioritizing your own needs over those of someone else might sound selfish, it can be a profound act of self-care and highlights the importance of saying no.
- When you say yes too much, people can take you for granted.
Many of us are so good at saying yes to things, that we forget how to say no. If you’re like me, you want to be as helpful and accommodating as possible. You want people to think you’re a great person to work with. But the reality is sometimes saying yes will lead you into a situation that isn’t beneficial to you.
In Conclusion, Sometimes it’s hard to say no. It can actually feel bad, and we may worry that people will think less of us if we do. But, saying no is a good thing. It means you are choosing to focus your time on what matters most to you. And the more practice you get at saying no, the easier it will become. In fact, one study found that people who said no to their time-consuming requests were more likely to build stronger relationships with others.
Well It’s your turn! When did you say No and how did it feel?
Let me know in the comment section 😉